Life

14 Things Moms Who Love Fall Are Definitely Sick of Hearing

Many people who feel an irrational love for something can often face dissenting opinions. I get and think it’s understandable. After all, in high school I had an irrational love for Howie D. of the Backstreet Boys, and was convinced he was the best Backstreet Boy of them all. However, I can't understand why people don't absolutely love fall. It’s beautiful. It’s crisp. It’s an excuse for sweatpants, sweaters and scarves. But, as my fellow autumn obsessives will surely understand, people out there who just don’t like happiness actually exist, and those people tend to say things moms who love fall are sick of hearing.

I spent four years in Southern California in my mid-twenties, so now that I’m back up in the Pacific Northwest (where I'm originally from), fall means a whole lot more to me than it did before. I missed rain when I lived in California. I missed clouds and cold weather and being able to drink coffee without sweating. Thankfully, I now live somewhere that has four very distinct seasons, which means that fall is officially upon us and everything is great in the world.

That said, my enthusiasm is not matched by everyone in my immediate circle. Perhaps you need to spend some time in Southern California — where it's constantly 70 degrees and sunny — to truly appreciate Fall in all its glory. Maybe people just don't drink Pumpkin Spice Lattes anymore. Either way, and as you can imagine, there are some recurring themes surrounding conversations like shared between people who love the Autumn season, and people who don't, including but not limited to:

“Don’t You Miss Summer?”

Nope, not even a little bit. 500 Days Of Summer is not just a lovely Joseph Gordon-Levitt film from the late aughts. And, as long as you don't mention the sprinkler, my kid is over it, too.

“Only 89 Days Until Christmas!”

Yes, but in the meantime, we have chili in the slow cooker and my kid and I have sweats on, so I’m not really sure what your point is? Can't we just enjoy this moment before thinking about the next? Please?

"Sweaters Are Overrated"

What do you have against sweaters? What did they ever do to you? I mean, aside from from the occasional itching, they're some of the greatest inventions known to man and I, for one, will not stand idly by while they're relentless attacked, and for no good reason.

“Soup Again?”

Yes, soup again. Please don’t speak ill of broccoli cheddar in my presence.

“I Wish Someone Would Take Care Of These Leaves”

If by “take care of,” you mean “let me tromp through them with my toddler and then leave on the ground until the snow covers them,” then we’re totally on the same page.

“Do We Really Need To Go To Another Pumpkin Patch?”

Do we really need to breathe oxygen? I think you know the answer.

“It’s So Cold”

I know, isn’t it great? I’d offer you one of my sweaters but we’ve already discovered that you don’t like warmth and love, so I’m going to hold off. Do let me know if you change your mind, though.

“Why Do You Have So Many Scarves?”

Um, I think the real question here is, why don’t you have so many scarves?

“Why Are You Wearing Boots If It’s Not Even Raining And You're Not Riding Horses?”

I feel like the best response here is from everyone’s favorite '90s film about a ragtag group of record store employees, Empire Records. "I don’t feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."

“Um, I Think You Might Need To Put Something Besides Apples And Caramel On The Shopping List”

OK, that’s a fair request. How about pumpkins, corn, and chili? And another bag of Halloween candy?

“Did You Take The Fuzzy Blanket Again?”

I mean, it was just sitting there, on top of someone else who happened to be laying on the couch. How was I supposed to know that it wasn’t my turn?

“No, I Will Not Go Chop Wood. We Don’t Even Have A Fireplace.”

OK, sure. Let a small detail like that stop you.

"Hasn't Your Kid Made You Enough Of Those Pumpkin Hand Print Crafts?"

How dare you? Take it back. Take it back, right now. We've barely scratched the surface of our fall-themed crafts, my friends.

"There Is Too Much Pumpkin Spice In Our World"

Sure, even I can admit it’s a little much. Last year our dog groomer offered us pumpkin spice dog grooming products. But, the drinks? Those can stay.